Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living (by Pema Chodron)
Perfect timing for this book, Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chodron, to come up on my reading rotation. In preparation for my first meditation retreat, I wanted to read a book that will open my heart, calm my mind, and prepare my soul for a new experience.
Pema offers much wisdom and practical guidance with this book. There are several lessons that resonated with me. Pema initially talked about how to awaken compassion with openness and freshness. She educated me on the importance of liberating from ego. I learned that the “messy stuff” or “poisons” in our lives are passion (craving), aggression (aversion), and ignorance. Pema explains that Tong Lin meditation is helpful for relating to specific suffering, ours or someone else’s, by breathing in dark, and breathing out light. This practice is used as stepping stone to working with the world. This section of the book reminded me of Loving Kindness Meditation (Metta) that Sharon Salzburg is renowned for teaching.
Pema explains that practicing Lu Jong (movement and breath), teaches one how to use unwanted or unfavorable circumstances of life as the material for awakening. I believe this will be helpful for me to view that whatever happens in my life can be used as a way to wake up. Pema also talked about the application of working with ourselves when we blame others.
This practice encourages us to be grateful to everyone while making peace with the aspects of ourselves we have rejected. Pema says we can also make peace with the people we dislike and learn from any situation. She offered a practical example of being friends with a person who struggled with drug addiction. She shared that she was upset her friend relapsed. Her meditation teacher, Trungpa Rinpoche, taught her to manage her expectations of others and still be kind to her friend. For me, this piece of wisdom is a great reminder for when I feel upset when people make unhealthy decisions; just because I don’t support unhealthy behavioral decisions, doesn’t mean I have to treat them differently. Everyone deserves kindness. We don’t know how important a demonstration of kindness may be for the other person.
Pema next talked about loving kindness meditation, compassion, and karma. I love when teachers remind us what karma truly means; things happen in our lives as a result of decisions we have made. Pema teaches readers to “try something different” if feeling caught in misery or even feeling caught in happiness. While listening to this audiobook, I experienced a day that just felt off and not like a typical Sunday. I recognized I wanted the day to feel different so I applied my practice to accept the day how it was and how it felt emotionally. I decided to put my tennis shoes on and walk my dog, Nikolette, at sunset when I happened to get to this part of the book. While my walks are routine, it immediately felt different and allowed me to feel joy in the connection with nature and motivated me to enjoy a short yoga practice when I returned home. Now, when I look back on that day, I remember it as a beautiful, peaceful Sunday.
As Pema nears the closing of her book, she appropriately reminds us to study ourselves. Specifically in regards to gossip, jealousy, and wanting revenge.
I ended my time with this book full of gratitude for the new lessons, meaningful reminders, and confirmation that I am on the right path for myself.
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