The Art of Happiness (by Dalai Lama XIV & Howard Cutler)
This book is artfully put together. The setting took place for one week where His Holiness The Dalai Lama was speaking in Tucson, Arizona. The book opens with Howard Cutler, M.D. describing his observations of The Dalai Lama taking the stage to share his wisdom on happiness with the audience. The book is structured like an interview between Dr. Cutler and His Holiness.
The teachings offered by His Holiness The Dalai Lama are quite profound, helpful, and applicable. As with any personal growth, it requires dedication and discipline. I listened to the audiobook and absorbed it as a lesson. I often pressed paused to take notes as there are so many poignant teachings that I want to remember and apply to my practice. For this book review, I choose to write about those poignant teachings that made me stop in my tracks to absorb the lesson.
I was sort of surprised to learn that His Holiness does not experience loneliness. Through contemplation, I realize it’s an emotion I feel the least; however, I thought his message was important to remember. The Dalai Lama advised working through feelings of loneliness by looking for the positive attributes in others as this helps to bring about infinity or a sense of connectedness.
His Holiness repeatedly talked about the importance of paying attention to how we spend our time. He advised we focus on things, people, places, etc. that are of value to us. I think I am overly focused on how I spend my time. Sometimes, I wonder if I am too concrete in my constant evaluation of how I am spending my time. I believe and understand that my time is finite and I want to make the most of everyday. My intentions are good; I also have to work through frustrations when I think my time is being wasted by unwanted distractions. While reflecting on this lesson, it occurred to me that I am likely hearing this message, repeatedly, at this time as I have been contemplating future life changes. The decisions I am presently faced are in direct correlation to how I may be spending my future time. I am grateful that this teaching came to me at this time in my life.
His Holiness The Dalai Lama spoke a lot on compassion for ourselves and others. He defines compassion as a wish for others to be free of suffering. Personally, I find Metta (loving kindness meditation) very helpful for practicing compassion.
To cope with experiences of loss, The Dalai Lama states it’s natural to feel sad and worry; however, we then begin to focus on ourselves. Consequently, we become overwhelmed with the sense of loss that can lead to depression. His Holiness encourages us to instead focus on what the person we lost wished for us. He relayed it may also help to think of others who suffer too. I have experienced many significant losses and once I have worked through the initial shock and have begun to adjust to the loss, it has been helpful for me to make decisions that will honor the people who have left their bodies. It’s rare to meet someone who has not suffered a loss. Relating on our losses has brought me closer to others.
The Dalai Lama described how we tend to blame others for our suffering and take on a victim stance, when in reality our suffering is a response to our decisions or contributions to events. We then tend to add to our suffering by overreacting or ruminating on the event. His Holiness explained we blame to find a cause for the situation. Rather, it would be helpful to look inward. He acknowledged it can be helpful to look at the sequence of how our suffering began. We also need to accept our role in the event.
I love to be reminded about the concept of impermanence; any given moment will change, regardless if it is a positive, desirable emotion or suffering.
Dr. Cutler shared that it’s helpful to adjust our attitude about physical pain. He reminded readers that pain sensations are there to protect us and warn us to prevent further harm. Could you imagine the damage we would physically cause ourselves if pain did not warn us to stop or change our behavior? Yikes! I have been working with my response to physical pain through meditation, yoga, and CBD. I experience annoying neck pain, headaches, and migraines from time to time. These practices have been helpful and I thankfully notice a decrease in frequency and intensity. Changing what I think about my pain when it occurs has been extremely helpful and reduced the amount of OTC pain mediation I take.
His Holiness spoke about anger and hatred always being classified as negative. He highlighted that hatred diminishes our ability to differentiate between right and wrong. The Dalai Lama prescribed patience and tolerance as the antidotes for hatred. He stated it’s important to confront feelings of anger and analyze whether it is an appropriate response. Is the hatred we are feeling constructive or destructive?
In closing, His Holiness The Dalai Lama reminded readers that we need a sense of urgency for change. To overcome apathy, we need consistent effort. Be patient with ourselves as change doesn’t happen overnight.
Namaste
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